piinktequila

I stare into what feel like oblivion. I called you, nobody answered. My heart is trembling, on the verge of breaking. Unshed tears stain my eyelashes, I refuse to let them fall, at least until I know the whole story. Am I still yours? Do you still love me and only me? I need to hear your voice, to be reassured. I called you, nobody answered. I feel on the verge of panic, my flight or fight responses override my sense of reason. I have gone crazy. My brain refuses to cooperate, the heart has taken control. I need to feel your arms surround me, protecting me, keeping me safe. Life has taken a bleak and dreary turn. I don't want to imagi

(Author's note: i wrote this more then ten years ago. This was inspired by my best friend and first love. We never did get together, life got in our way. But I will never forget the friendship we shared and the love that we lost.) I have been your friend, for years. I supported your dreams, believed in you, prayed for you, helped and consoled you. I was there when your Grandmother passed, when you had problems in school, at home, and in life. I talked to you, encouraged you when she returned your ring. Although I've been here through it all, I feel like you don't know me. You've showed me secrets, taught me love; yet this friendhsip rem

When I look into these eyes, I find things no one else ever catches a glimpse at. I see this fear of judgment that makes her cower at confrontation. I see this hopelessness for the future that make her choices her burden alone. I see this desperate need for companionship to make her strong in the savage world of humans. I see this courage caged in her thoughts of inferiority. I see these thoughts of abandonment that make her cling to anything. I see this devotion to her beliefs that makes her fear death.  And I hate that the person I always see is me.